wasteful.

sometimes that's how i view my life. such a waste.

what the heck am I doing for the Lord? his purposes? his people?

am i too distracted by wanting to buy "can-you-believe-i-got-this-for-only-12-bucks?!" house decor?

does the world of blogging/photography/baking/crafting suck me in so deep sometimes that i emerge wondering why there's not more?


at the end of the month, do i realize that not only did i not obey budget, but i spent every dollar we had on something I thought I needed? (you know, like those 3 iPhone cases i just needed to buy)

and then one day i wake up and begin my quiet time with "Lord, I've missed you!" and i just know he's saying the same thing back to me.

Rebecca, he says, did you think those things would satisfy?


well. i guess i did. i didn't intend too, i just got caught up in ME. i forgot to remember you.

how embarrassing. how disappointing. how selfish. how typical.


i don't want to forget you, Lord.

i don't want to forget to:
ask you for patience.
pray comfort over a friend.
thank you for the spring flowers that remind us of your beauty.
praise who you are.
open my heart and mind to the holy spirit's work.
allow myself to be moved by you.
keep you first in my marriage.
keep you first in my decisions.

"I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people— for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior..." -1st Tim. 2:1-3

i have a responsibility, desire and need to keep him first. keep him real in my life.

and when i do (if i do) he uses me and work in and through me. and that's what i love the most. when I can see my obedience being rewarded, being found pleasing, being USED.

i want to be used for a greater purpose than having a cute home. taking good pictures. buying trendy clothes.

i don't want my life to be a waste.

maybe that means i have to start going to church? :) i definitely know it means i have to get involved in something bigger than me.

i'll be praying about where/how the Lord wants me to serve. to become smaller. to decrease.

to live a full life; un-wasted.