shining stars!

TRU Camp began today.

for those of you who don't already know... i work at a christian camp with my husband. we live here too! which means we are hardcore campers. but anyway. this week is TRU Camp which is a week where we scholarship 160ish kids whose parents have been incarcerated.

I. LOVE. BLACK. PEOPLE. i'm sure that is not "pc" to post all over the world wide web, but i don't care. one of my best friends in high school is black. my first kiss was a black boy. the blindside: a dream life. and i secretly always thought i would marry a black man and we would do inner city missions. um... here is a picture of my husband (on the left):



DISCLAIMER: this was for a themed white trash party. though he is an arkansasan... this is the ultimate extreme.

anyway. the point is i love this week of camp! and what makes this year different is that i was in charge of the logistics. mailing out applications, keeping track of all forms being turned in, accepting (and denying) spots to people. managing the 3 different check in locations, it was CRAZY.

but can i tell you HOW GOOD it was to put a face to the names i've been staring at for so long in an excel sheet?

i didn't do a good job at praying over them before they got here. at all. but seeing ja'juan after i'd seen his name forever just lit up my heart! i want to hang out with them all week! why can't i be a counselor again??? i freaking love this week. i like that there are girls here named Toyneshkia. i like that there are kids that are scared of fish eating them. i like that not a drop of water will be touched all week, but the koolaid will vanish instantly. i like the attitude. the fierceness. the "i'll do what i want"-ness. i can't relate to these kids in terms of life experience. but i can relate to the independence. the feeling that you have to be in control and no one can take that away from you. oh of course it is a lie from satan. we were never meant to be in control. but they don't know that yet. and i'm excited that this is the week they will learn that!

back to the point. i was stressed about today. that i would fail. that i would be unorganized and 50 kids would show up that i forgot about and they would have no cabin to go to. but that didn't happen! it went smoothly! i was encouraged and built up by my leadership and even applauded. they make me feel like i love my job. like i could conquer the world.

i realized sometimes (not all the time!) i am too hard on myself. when i am responsible for other people... i want perfection. i almost cried at the stupidest little thing that didn't go right today. but in the end it was good. i need to trust a little bit more. the lord totally works out all things whether or not i get everything right.

i read this passage today:
¹⁴Do everything without complaining or arguing, ¹⁵so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe ¹⁶as you hold out^[c] the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing. ¹⁷But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. ¹⁸So you too should be glad and rejoice with me.
-Philippians 4 14-18


i am a freakin' star! well...i want to be. that's my hope for counselors this week. that they would not be tired and frustrated because camp is near the end... that they would hold out the word of life to these kids who need it most. so let's shine! come on people! :)


don't say i'm cheesy. don't even think about it.