there are SO many things i want to blog about. so. many. words to say. pictures to post. stories to tell. but. it is 11:00 after a 12 hour day when i have to be back at work in about 7 hours. good thing i like my job!
for those of you who don't know, i have a doggie named jacob. we have literally scared the crap out of him 3 times. he is terrified of everything and everyone. but, PROGRESS REPORT: he is getting SOOO much better. i love him so much. he is the cutest thing. and it is awesome because it makes me think i really could be a good mother! basically, i have a tendency to get very upset at small things. i am by nature, a grudge holder, non-forgiver, defensive, selfish person (bless trevor's beautiful heart). i know the Lord matures and turns dark to light and i am aware that i am a total work in progress but that he IS faithfully working on me. i always thought i would be an awful mom because when the kid gets annoying, i'll just want to slap them. or yell. or be really angry for days. (not an exaggeration. really. trevor deserves a gold medal and a lifetime supply of samoa ice cream). and with jacob (the doggie!) i started to feel that in the beginning. but as i have grown to love him so, i have learned to give him grace! when he accidentally pees because he's scared or doesn't come when i call (it hasn't happend yet. it's been a month.) i just want to love him. and not yell. and not be mad at him for days. it sounds silly (really silly) but jacob encourages me that i could love a child well! i have seen him grow with our love for him. he actually voluntarily comes to sit and lay with us... its a start! maybe he will learn his name soon... but really.. i love this dog. surely i could love a child 10x more. and be more patient than i think. more graceful than i've been. and more selfless than i know. maybe.
that's it for now. i MUST go to bed. but pictures of Beka, KT and Doug, and Jen and Gary to come verrrry soon.
oh and the first part of photo 365. BOOM.
love!
Friday, April 30, 2010
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1 comment:
You will be a GREAT mom! And it is soooo much easier when it's your own child. I have so much more patience with Clara than I could ever imagine having with anyone else. There's just something about it. You'll see someday. But for now, enjoy where you're at!
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