defining moment.

i have been so exhausted with my job lately. NOTE: i am not saying i dislike it, just tired because it is the busy season.

you know how it gets when you're tired. mole hills become mountains. accidents become tell-tale signs that you are a complete failure. everything seems wrong.

i was just discouraged. i had a meeting with my boss at the end of the day. it was one of those meetings you don't look forward to if you know what it's about. one where he has to let you know where you need to improve.

and i'm the type that boss man could say 50 great, encouraging things about me and one suggestion of improvement and all i remember is the area i am sucking in instead of the multiple areas i excel in.

but this time, the meeting turned into something unexpected. a beautiful affirmation of the Lord's molding of my life.

while having a hard time swallowing the words he was saying, i explained that i try to be really open to accountability and truth about where i need to change and grow.

"rebecca," my boss started. "i really appreciate your teachable spirit."

i've never heard that said about me. let me go back.

historically, i've been selfish, stubborn, ready to point out other's faults, not ready to accept my own.

one day (in my selfish insecurity) i wrote a list of qualities i wanted to have. characteristics that i wanted to be described as before i die.

there were several. and i kept adding desirable traits as i came across them. some i knew would never be me (a quiet spirit...hah!). many i knew i would gain if i was fervently seeking the Lord. the first on the list?  a teachable spirit.

what a cool moment of affirmation. it always seems more meaningful when someone else can affirm your growth. cool to realize that even when my relationship with the Lord isn't super FEELING oriented, He is REAL. He is WORKING. He is maturing me to COMPLETION.

thank you Lord for the encouragement. for unexpected words that come from unexpected people.

now... onto bed for another day at the ranch! :)